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Saturday 8 October 2011

Do not stand speaking in the street

Lady Colin Campbell (in Cassell's Etiquette of Good Society, 1911) is a stickler. Undoubtedly, she is the 1911 equivalent of someone who writes to the BBC to complain about the bad spelling of modern youth. Undoubtedly, were she to belong to this century, she would frown upon many common habits - watching DVDs in bed, microwave meals, texting. But even bearing in mind that she may be stricter  than the average Mama, her set of rules about introductions is - well, below:

How to introduce someone in 1911
1. Ask the lady if she is happy to be introduced to the gentleman
2. Introduce the gentleman to the lady (not the other way around.) Now go away.
3. The lady and gentleman will converse.

On second meeting someone in 1911
1. It is the lady's role to recognise and acknowledge the gentleman - he may not either bow or shake hands until she has made the first movement. Nor must he ignore her.
2. If they meet on the street, the gentleman must then walk by the lady's side, because 'on no occasion is it permissible for a lady to stand for any time while talking in the street.'

It must have been really tricky timing saying goodbye to people. Did you just have to go round another block if you still had something left to say? And also - why? What wrong message were you sending out if you stood and chatted on a street corner? I dread to think.

Not much different, except gloves

I hoped, in flicking through Cassell's Etiquette of Good Society, edited and revised in 1911 by Lady Colin Campbell, to find the ways of a bygone world. But it was the similarities that came through first: complaints and tensions that I recognise:

On letter writing: 'Nowadays, when so much correspondence goes on daily, few letters are indited which are really worthy of commendation. The lives we live are so crowded with events...'

On bridesmaids' dresses: 'The bride has her ideas... and it is only right that her wishes should be mainly consulted, but let her consider others as well as herself...'

On language: 'barbarous mutilation of phrases' (Such as 'thanks' for 'thank you')

The exception? Gloves. Ladies must wear gloves at all times if in company. I only spot this fact because of the emphasis given to moments we could remove them - before the soup course at dinner, and to put on a wedding ring during a marriage service.